Transforming Relationships Through Appreciation: Why Recognition Beats Nagging

Forget Nagging – Appreciation is the Real Game Changer

Let’s be honest for a moment: why do we often default to nagging instead of celebrating the good stuff? A recent study from the University of Toronto has pointed out something that I’ve been championing for ages — gratitude and recognition are the true catalysts for change, not nagging or complaints. It’s time we peel back the layers and explore how appreciation can transform our relationships, both at home and in the workplace.

The Power of Recognition

Picture this scenario. You’re in your kitchen, eyeing the dishwasher, which appears to have been loaded by someone with a wildly different interpretation of “organisation.” It’s tempting to throw your hands up, start reminding the dishwasher offender of the “right way” to load it, and frankly, go into a mini-rant about proper kitchen etiquette. But let’s pause for a moment.

What if instead of nagging, you simply said, “Cheers for emptying the dishwasher today. I really appreciate it”? This single act of appreciation can spark a wave of positive behaviour that nagging never could. Psychologist Natalie Sisson and her research team discovered that in any relationship — whether at home or the office — expressing gratitude is far more effective than repetitive reminders.

Why Appreciation Works

We all long for validation. As human beings, we’re wired to respond positively to recognition. When someone acknowledges our efforts, we feel valued and motivated to keep going. In a work setting, for example, rather than pestering colleagues for updates or berating them over missed deadlines, taking a moment to appreciate their hard work can yield better results.

It’s not just about kindness; it’s about fostering a culture of trust and engagement. When team members feel appreciated, they’re likely to go above and beyond, making not just their work better but also the work environment. You can imagine the ripple effect this can have on morale and productivity.

Simple Steps to Foster Appreciation

So, how can we bring this shift from nagging to appreciation into our lives? Here at City Skills, we believe in three straightforward steps:

• See it – Keep your eyes peeled for the great things your team, your partner, or even your friends are achieving. Recognition starts with awareness.
• Say it – Don’t hold back. Share your appreciation promptly, and ensure it resonates with the person receiving it. This could be a simple “great job” or “thank you for your help” when the moment feels right.
• Appreciate it! – Make it personal. A tailored message, no matter how small, can go a long way in showing you care.

Changing the narrative from nagging to recognising is not just a nice idea; it’s a recipe for profound benefits in our teams, relationships, and overall atmosphere. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people will remember how you made them feel far longer than any instruction you ever gave them.

My Personal Insight

Let me share a personal experience. A couple of years back, I was working with a fantastic team on a challenging project. We faced numerous hurdles, and it was easy to become bogged down in the negative aspects. One day, I decided to divert the focus. I gathered the team and acknowledged each person’s contributions, expressing my gratitude for their hard work. The change was palpable! Not only did the team regain their energy, but we also smashed our targets. It’s incredible what recognition can do.

Embrace the Change

So, let’s make a pact to incorporate more appreciation into our daily interactions. The joy of witnessing others thrive because you recognised their efforts will bring a smile to your face. Ask yourself: how can I make appreciation a regular part of my day? It might just lead to something extraordinary.

To everyone reading this, I encourage you to start noticing the good around you and speak up about it. Let’s shift our focus from negative nagging to celebrating our daily victories — both big and small. Who knows, you might just inspire someone to do the same!

#CitySkills #appreciation #recognition